Have you noticed anything different about me?
Well, David says, you seem more happy.
Happiness.
What does this all mean? Well, if you ask any random person you encounter what 5 things they want in their life, I'm sure happiness is one of them. Running was my happiness. I remember getting excited before a run. Oh, the sun, the rain, the wind, the cold. I ran everyday. My greatest memories were running 20 miles just because I wanted an adventure. I never was the competitive type, so races were not my thing. Running relieved my depression. I survived because of it. Now, its the one thing I crave. The one thing that I wish I could do everyday. Instead, I'm raising Hazel, working full-time and trying to find time to homeschool the kids in the midst of all the craziness life brings. Once a perfectionist, I'm at the mercy of a pill I take everyday to help calm the perfectionist in me, to get rid of the crying, the sick feeling and the "I don't want to live anymore" feeling.
That "I don't want to live anymore" feeling has gone away. Every morning I wake up to the sound of a happy baby. You can never be depressed when you're with Hazel. She brings me so much happiness. She is healing me. I've been posting videos of how happy she is. Before my mind was clouded, now it see the true meaning of living, it sees the beauty in the smile of Hazel, the joy of seeing my son D.J., the great amount of pride I feel when I see Emily draw and when Zach came to me with great news that he's now a part of our working society.
The truth is that I'm Happy without running and it feels so damn good.
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| My Mom. I love her so much. |
Until Next Time,
Eat Organic,
Eat Gluten-Free,
Jennifer
