Hello, how are you?

Hello, it's me

I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet

To go over everything

They say that time's supposed to heal ya

But I ain't done much healing

In fact I've wondered where you were at?  Did I bury you so deep that after all the years you had to make your way back into my life?  I don't know if I want to see you again.  Yesterday I tried to get rid of you.  It didn't seem to help.  Then the crying came again. I surprised myself when I ran 3 miles with tears streaming down my face. Why now?  Why come at the greatest time of my life?  Come, on now, I just had a beautiful baby? Let me enjoy her for awhile before you come back and suck the life out of me again. Please go away. I think we should talk about this. Lets start now, 

Lets go over everything.  

I always thought it was a spiritual battle. You know, I'm not praying enough for you to go away or I haven't given everything over completely to God. That's such BS these days.  I always thought I wasn't strong enough.  Am I not running enough?  Eating enough healthy food?  Eliminating all the Gluten in my diet?  Some days it feels as if someone is pulling me down. Some days I'm on top of the world and want to just be Happy.  Why do you have to come and steal my joy?  Won't you just go bury yourself again for the next 9 years and come back then?  

Today Hazel turn 3 months so I'm going to take her a bath, dress her up and take photos of her so I can remember what she looked like at this age.  Then I'm going to finish listening to Adele.  

This is what You look like. 

 You used to be just Depression but now you have a new name:

Postpartum Depression. 

Hello, how are you?

It's so typical of me to talk about myself I'm sorry
I hope that you're well

Jennifer