Friends

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Vegan cinnamon and peach pancakes.  Yup, I say, that's what I want.  

"I'm craving pancakes, I've been thinking about them since yesterday." says Marlene. 

 "Me too!!!" I reply.

 I almost was just going to go into the restaurant by myself and order a full stack of pancakes, but I figured she was running late. Left my phone at home and had no idea that she was just tied up because a friend of hers had no babysitter and needed her to watch her 1 year old little girl.  

My baby girl on the other hand was getting pretty upset and anxious that it was already 10:22 a.m. and she hadn't had one single taste of food.  Those pregnancy hormones almost kicked in, just at the moment she drove up to our favorite place to eat:  Kirby Lane. It's been a while since I had a sit down meal/conversation with a friend.  

Last year was a very hard year for me as I battled severe depression and I distanced myself from many friends.  I sure do love all the friendships that I have created over the past few years and each friendship is special and very unique to me. Each friend of mine brings something that I need in my life.  Marlene, my friend, brings me Hope. 

Having lost her husband 2 years ago, she is as strong as the first day I met her in 2008.  A runner, a full-time health care worker and soon to be a full-time student, she battled so many hardships in her life.  The most devastating was when she lost the love of her life.  We talk about him on our breakfast dates, her kids and what amazes me the most is that she hasn't given up.  I always think about my life and if this ever happened to me, that I wonder if I would be as strong as her.  We met today because in a week she will be starting school for her nursing degree.  I listen as she tells me all she's going to do.  

School. Work. Kids. The list goes on. 

Then I look over at my belly and see that I am going to have some changes in my life.

Am I ready? What obstacles will I encounter?  Will I see each new day as a blessing and move forward? 

I believe we fear the unknown.  But how are we going to grow as individuals if we don't venture out into the unknown.  I fear many things.  The birth. The labor.  My depression getting worse. 

 Fear tends to take a tight hold on us.  Meeting with my friend today made me less fearful. It made me believe in myself.  That I too am strong enough to overcome any obstacle.  

My new philosophy should be this "If Marlene can overcome it, I can too."   

Running is what we do best!  

Until Next Time, 

Eat Organic, 

Eat Gluten-Free, 

Jennifer

Ch-ch-ch-ch changes

Ch-ch-ch-ch changes

Strange fascination, fascinating me

Changes are taking the pace

I'm going through

(If you didn't know, this was borrowed from David Bowie)

I was about 8 or 10 weeks here. 

Changes are happening all around me and through me.  18 weeks now carrying another human life force has caused me to see life so differently now.  What once was urgent as running everyday has now turned into a slow pace for me.  I run with determination now.  No longer able to run 6 or 8 miles or even 10, my only goal is to make it to 4.  What once was an exercise I did to stay in my size 4 jeans, now I exercise so that I can make it through the labor in June.  As I said before, having a baby is the hardest thing a women will ever do in her life, but harder when you see so many changes happening in your body.  

A coworker of mine is having a baby boy. We are exactly the same weeks into our pregnancy.  I feel like a whale at times when I stand next to her, but then realize that we were both created differently.  I told David that the other day she told me about this cool belly band you can get at the store to hold up your jeans.  Wow! I thought, I need that.  Funny thing is she was talking about her pre-pregnancy pants. Ha!! Mine are in storage at the moment.  I have to buy new clothes every month.  And I mean every month like clock work.   I have no skinny part left in me.  Those size 4 jeans will be tucked away in storage until I can lose the baby weight afterwards.  And even if I don't, it's okay. 

You see, pregnant women out there, We need to be proud of our bodies.  Big or small.  I need to stop telling myself that I am fat. I'm Pregnant.  As I ran today, I looked down at my belly and smiled.  I'm carrying the most precious gift ever.  This will be the last time I will carry another bundle of joy. 

Jennifer, I said to myself, "Embrace it!"

And that's exactly what I need to do.  Here's to Changes!!!!!

Until Next Time,

Eat Organic,

Eat Gluten-Free, 

Jennifer

18 weeks 3 days

God, You're my Deliverer

"Discover the side effects. Don't research them."
Clever 14 year old named Zach

It's always kids and their smart sayings that put things in perspective for us adults.  Which I have found very helpful during the times when my doctor wanted to put me on a medication and I would have such anxiety that all I would do was sit on my couch at home and spend hours looking up blogs/research/reviews on the medication.  As Zach told me, he said I shouldn't worry too much about what the reviews or information that was provided said, but to experience those side effects as they came along.  

Yesterday the nurse gave me my first injection of Progesterone.  Progesterone is a hormone that is commonly used for infertility, ovarian cysts and endometrial cancer.  It is a hormone that is released by the ovaries and occurs naturally in the body.  Its role is to regulate ovulation and menstruation. 

Progesterone for preterm labor which is why I'm receiving it is  the 17P Alpha Hydroxy. 

Women with a history of preterm labor (like myself) can reduce the risk of recurrent preterm birth. Those like myself have had a history of at least one prior spontaneous preterm delivery.

I've had 2.  Zach was born at 32 weeks. He weighed 5lbs 6oz.  Emily was the second. She weighed 6lbs 8oz and was born at 36 weeks. 

Having a baby born early creates in you fear that your new bundle of joy will grow up with a number of health problems.  Technology and advances in medicine today provide infants who are born premature with a really big chance that they will not develop any developmental delays.  Zach was born at 32 weeks and was hospitalized for 2 weeks and then sent home.  As of today, he is 14 years old and has had some speech developmental delay growing up, but he has had no neurological/or physical delays.   He's one normal kid (he's a second degree (senior) black belt).

Emily had no developmental or neurological delays.  She's always used more of the right side of her brain and that's what makes her a great artist. 

Which with baby number 4, we will trust that the injections I will be receiving weekly will help prevent her from coming too soon.  

Honestly, I'm miserable and my first injection has created such tiredness and lethargy.  These are the side effects and I have to experience them for myself.  Creating another human being is the hardest thing a woman will do in her life, but I rest in the assurance that God will deliver me through all my fears, anxieties and worries.  

My song right now is "God You're my Deliverer", by Matt Maher.  

Until Next Time, 

Eat Organic,

Eat Gluten-Free, 

Jennifer

17 weeks 3 days