Making Lemonade out of Lemons

Or in my case, making Yoga bags and JennieBands to get us through these next few weeks.

This week I disappointed many people. My boss. My husband. My kids. My friends. And most of all, Myself.  

I felt like the world was closing in on me and all I could do was just stand there.  Frozen.  That's all. I just stood there on the phone as my boss told me that my nursing license expired and that I would not be able to go to work until it was in "good standing."  I stood there as my husband called me on the phone telling me that he did a split in the kitchen when he slipped on the kitchen rug.  I stood there as my kids voiced that there were hungry as I was at the sewing machine trying to make Yoga bags.  I just stood there when my friend texts me that she needed my help on her research paper. I  just stood there frustrated with Zach as he couldn't understand why 6/8= 3/4.

  Then one day I stood there looking at myself in the mirror asking God to change my heart, to help  me get out of this "funk".  Lord, help me to Love others when I don't feel like it. 

Then the next day came the "Why me Lord?" I'm so organized. I homeschool my kiddos, work full-time, volunteer, take care of my husband who just had surgery and I pray everyday.  Why did I forget to renew my license? What happened?  Why can't Zachary be a math genius?  Why does my friend need me?  Why can't I just be a stay at home mom and make Yoga bags and JennieBands? Why can't I have a maid to come cook the 3 meals I need so that David doesn't have to help?
(Well, actually I didn't say those words exactly, but you get the point.)

I questioned. Who doesn't?  I cried. If you don't cry, your not human.  I got angry.  I got depressed. I fought with myself.  Satan has a way of telling you lies. He tells you that you're not worth being alive. He's a beast.

Sunday is when I realized that all the pain that I was going through this week was just  that, "Pain."  It doesn't define who I am. It doesn't define my job or who I am in Christ. God doesn't wish that I endure the pain or that I suffer.  He payed the price by sending Jesus on the cross to die for everything that we would do.  By dying on that cross, he took up our sins and made them his.  The pain we go through is preparing us for the joy that we will have for eternity.  If we didn't experience pain then we would take everything for granted.

That was my case. I complained about being a Nurse. I was tired of sewing. I wanted to quit volunteering.  A local homeschool mom told me about a classical school that was opening up soon in our neighborhood and it enticed me to enroll them in a program that I was already implementing for the last 6 years of our journey. I wanted my husband to be well, to help out in the kitchen, to start driving, to be normal.

All that wanting was causing stress and pain in my heart.    I want. I want. I want.
Selfishness started to creep in.  BOOM!!!! Lightening struck and God taught me a lesson.  All the blessings he had given me and my family began to be burdensome. I started to let bitterness creep in.  If you let bitterness brew long enough in your heart, Satan takes over and he then begins a work in you.

What about you?  Have you complained about your blessings?  Has life handed you lemons and you don't know what to do with them.  Well, my friend, make lemonade, come over to my house and lets share a glass.   

James 4:7

Submit yourselves, then, to god, Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."

Until Next Time, 
Eat Organic, 
Eat Gluten-Free, 
Jennifer

What's Your Focus?

As I embark into another year of homeschooling I am reminded that God should be first in all I do.

Before I check my FaceBook status, before I roll out of bed and eagerly jump for joy as I'm preparing for my day I need to FOCUS on the Creator.  FOCUS doesn't have to be a chore, neither does it have to be a burden.  When we FOCUS on the giver of Life, He gives Life. 

It's as if He's waiting for us every morning, ready to breathe life into us, but we so eagerly want to start our day without that perfect breathe. Without that Life Force that sustains us through whatever life throws our way, we want to FOCUS on Me, My Wants, My Needs, Mine, Mine, Mine!!!

Remember Adam and Eve?  A perfect masterpiece; Adam, God breathed life into. In my mind I picture a person being resuscitated (yup, that's the Nurse in me).  Just like when someone needs CPR and the other person breathes into them to give them oxygen, that's the way I see God giving life.  He gave it and so do we.    

It's that FOCUS that brings me back from my selfish desires, (the Me, Myself and I) and with my Palms Up, I'm ready to say "Yes God!"   When I FOCUS on God, everything else seems to disappear.  The loneliness fades, my thoughts become His thoughts, my Spirit starts to work in line with God's will for me and my family.  As trials come, I can embrace them with open arms and say, "Jesus, take the wheel."

Uncertainties that linger in my mind are replaced with his assurance that "I make all things new."

This week I will FOCUS ON:

HIS LOVE, 

HIS GRACE, 

HIS MERCIES THAT ARE MADE ANEW EVERY MORNING 

AND RELY ON HIS STRENGTH TO SEE ME THROUGH.

WHAT'S YOUR FOCUS?

Until Next Time, 

Eat Organic, 

Eat Gluten-Free, 

Jennifer